THE ADVENTUROUS ODYSSEY OF 'THAT FAMILY'

Fist Fights, F-Words, and Fatigue

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what do you do when life gives you three autistic kids who have transformed your existence into a WWE wrestling match crossed with a Quentin Tarantino film?

Welcome to my world - the chaotic, noisy, absolutely unpredictable, and somehow hilariously endearing world of being 'that family'.

We're not just your run-of-the-mill family with a penchant for a little mischief. No, no, we're 'that family' - the kind you hear before you see, the kind that brings a bit of commotion everywhere we go. You know, the family that has turned the local Woolies into a free-for-all wrestling arena, and the quiet neighbourhood library into an echo chamber of creative expletives.

Meet my kids: Mx 7, a pint-sized Picasso with a flair for the arts, an impromptu comedy routine that could give the pros a run for their money, and a temper that's quicker than a sneeze. In a blink, Mx 7 can transition from creating a watercolour masterpiece to throwing a punch or a pinch with the precision of a mini ninja. Armed with paintbrushes, punchlines, and an uncannily clear understanding of human reproduction, they navigate life in a whirlwind of art, laughter, and unexpected 'ouch' moments.

Meet Ms. 5, a budding beauty salon magnate operating from the confines of her butterfly adored bedroom. This fierce young entrepreneur is as fiery as a dragon when her temper is roused, and her determination to outshine her siblings in the knowledge department is as unwavering as a marathon runner. She has an elephant's memory for slights and a mule’s obstinacy in a standoff. It’s a fascinating mix of steely resolve and sparkling glitter, of beauty salon shenanigans and surprising tenacity.

Let’s not forget Mr. 5, a miniature entomologist with an irresistible love for bear hugs and an endless supply of energy that would put the Duracell bunny to shame. With his constantly chattering lips and twinkle-toe dance moves, Mr. 5 can turn any scenario into a lively episode of 'Dancing with the Bugs'. Put them together, and it's like an unscripted comedy show with a generous sprinkle of violent action scenes.

Take our routine supermarket trips, for example. What should be a casual stroll through aisles brimming with groceries often morphs into a spectacle that wouldn't be out of place in a gladiator movie. As Mx 7 arranges the pasta boxes by their cooking times (because how dare they be in any other order), Ms 5 serenades the innocent onlookers with an impromptu performance of her latest composition, an anthem of oddly poetic expletives, delivered with gusto in the cereal aisle. It's part concert, part WWE SmackDown, and entirely our normal.

Then there's the adventure that is a visit to the library. You'd think this would be a safe haven of peace and quiet, right? Not with our three. As Mr 5. launches into a heated debate with the librarian over the inadequate number of books on prehistoric arachnids, Mx 7 and Ms 5 launch into a full on fist fight over the semantics of The Cat in The Hat.

Let's not forget school drop-offs, an event which should be as simple as a kiss on the forehead and a wave goodbye. But in our world, it's more akin to refereeing a boxing match. Mx 7 pushes Ms 5 over in the car park and Ms 5 delivers jabs – verbal and physical – as they debate the name of the song that was playing as we pulled up. Mr 5 sees his opportunity and grabs a spare “Mummy hand”, only to be slapped and scratched by Mx 7 - how dare he be so presumptuous….that’s not HIS hand to hold! It's a noisy, bustling display that often leaves the teachers and bystanders with a mix of confusion and mild horror.

Now, being 'that family' could be seen as tiring, and it does, on occasion, feel like I'm living in a reality TV show that's constantly stuck on the 'chaos' setting. I’ve developed reflexes like a seasoned UFC referee and a tolerance to noise that would impress a heavy metal drummer.

But, amidst all the commotion, there's something deeply entertaining and wonderfully unique about our little family sitcom. Because even though we might be 'that family' causing a ruckus at the supermarket, disrupting the silence of the library, and turning school drop-offs into live wrestling matches, we are a family that finds joy and humour in the quirkiest of places.

So yes, we are 'that family', and let me tell you, it's an absolute riot. Each day is filled with laughter (and a fair bit of swearing), each outing is an adventure, and every moment is a memory in the making. We're 'that family', and I wouldn't have it any other way. So, here’s to embracing the chaos, the noise, and the swearing. (But yes. I could do with more sleep, some peace and quiet and a frosty margarita).